Parasocial is a feeling and I know it well
On Lucy Dacus's new album and her dating the little one. Plus I'm a moody 90s girl and John Mulaney is good(?)
Last week all the normies found out that Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker are in a relationship. The rest of us with anti-depressant prescriptions and closets full of old doc martens have known this for at least a year and a half, but the hard launch was satisfying.
Many (mostly younger) fans of boygenius are scarily infatuated with the personal lives of Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy and Julien. Writing honest lyrics as queer women have made them subjects of thousands of parasocial relationships, and they’ve vocalized their frustrations. “I’ve had people take more than I’m giving, and I’m giving a lot,” Phoebe told me in 2023. “I’m pretty f—ing transparent, because I would value that in someone whose music I liked when I was a kid. Seeing any representation of any feeling and anything true was awesome to me. To be punished for that is so dark.”
The news of Lucy and Julien’s relationship came in Amanda Petrusich’s excellent New Yorker profile of Lucy ahead of the release of Lucy’s fourth album, “Forever Is a Feeling,” out today. It’s an album about falling in love with very obvious references to Baker: tales of touring around the world, exes, a pinstripe suit. I’m so glad Amanda pointed it out:
“I told Dacus that I might not have asked about her love life if it weren’t so plainly central to the songs. ‘It’s been interesting, because I want to protect what is precious in my life, but also to be honest, and make art that’s true,’ she said. ‘I think maybe a part of it is just trusting that it’s not at risk.’ She paused. ‘Maybe a healthier way to think about it is that it’s not actually fragile. These songs are about different people. But, you know, Most Wanted Man in West Tennessee—what are you gonna do?’ (Baker was born and brought up outside Memphis.)”
I’m not sure if Lucy is being naive, or if she’s reached a new level of acceptance in herself, her relationship and her fame. When I first heard the lyrics to a song like “Big Deal,” I couldn’t believe how specific she was being. It did feel risky and it did feel fragile. I was a bit annoyed. “You will never feel famous to me,” she sings in “Modigliani.” Oh, Lucy, but you and Julien are famous to many bored and sexually confused 16-year-olds! How could you ask for privacy from fans, then give them additional lore to mine through? I realized I was basically victim blaming and shut that down real fast. And then I read Ann Powers’s NPR review of the album:
“Throughout Forever Is a Feeling, the presence of boygenius’ worshipful fans can be felt just on the other side of Dacus’ writing process. As that dreamer they adore, she empathizes with them, and tries to figure out how to negotiate some privacy while sharing this love story that means more than the average fount of celebrity gossip…Acknowledging that what for her is a precious private life is for others a source of intrigue and celebration, Dacus offers Forever Is a Feeling to the world courageously (I think of other artists who’ve turned confession into art, from Joni to Beyoncé, still living with those disclosures decades later) but keeps something for herself. The quiet in which she arranges her life into stories permeates the album, an aura of reserve that signals her awareness that life keeps changing even after you’ve put a frame around it.”
Maybe it’s hypocritical to ask fans to respect boundaries and then blur those boundaries, embedding intimate moments into lyrics for everyone to hear. But she never said she’s telling us everything. To make her art, Lucy—hopefully—chose details to enhance her art, or to make it art in the first place. Perhaps she is feeding into fans’ parasocial relationships. It’s a huge risk for her peace—and her Instagram notifications. But she’s committed enough to her art to do it anyway. But does it pay off? After hearing the album a few times, I don’t know if I’m convinced.
💌 LOVE NOTES 💌
Quick beats from the week:
Mark Ronson is putting out a memoir, "Night People: How To Be A DJ in ‘90s NYC" in September.
I’m obsessed with this random stranger’s playlist I found called “Moody 90s girl.” I’m particularly into “Stranded” by Plumb—perfect turn-of-the-century soft alt-pop.
Ethel Cain announced an official sophomore album, “Willoughby Tucker, I’ll Always Love You.” If you’ve been following New Crush from the beginning (for 2 months…) you know that Ethel Cain already put out a project,
”Perverts,” in January that was full of drones and bleeps and spookiness. Now a real album is here!Really sad news: K-pop titans NewJeans, who have tried to rebrand at NJZ, announced a hiatus while they undergo a court battle with their label.
Matty Healy posted 3 pages of all of his favorite albums on Tumblr. I will do a deep dive and report back.
Speaking of Matty Healy, check out this Facebook Marketplace find. 18-year-old me would have put this in my NYU freshman dorm so fast.
Matty Matheson from “The Bear” announced a hardcore band called Pig Pen.
Biopic news that I love so much and biopic news that I don’t love so much: Zendaya will star as Ronnie Spector in a Barry Jenkins-directed A24 film. And Lizzo will play rock pioneer Sister Rosetta Tharpe in an Amazon MGM Studios project.
John Mulaney is killing it with the musical guests on his Netflix show, “Everybody’s Live.” Last week Kim Gordon and Kim Deal went on stage for the FIRST time together to perform the song “Little Trouble Girl” from Sonic Youth’s 1995 album “Washing Machine.” I LOVE THIS SONG AND THESE WOMEN SO MUCH. Kim Gordon whispering “Momma, I'm not too young to try” in her perfect monotone at 71 years old scratched an itch I didn’t know I had.
In January, when describing the show, Mulaney told THR, “This will be the one place where you could see Arnold Schwarzenegger sitting next to Nikki Glaser sitting next to a family therapist with music by Mannequin Pussy,” said Mulaney. “That’s just a brief sampling of guests. We don’t know if we can lock in Mannequin Pussy, but we are in talks with them.”
This week, Mulaney locked them! And he proved he isn’t afraid to say Pussy on TV.
🚨 VIBE CHECK 🚨
What the people are actually listening to:
Playboi Carti’s “MUSIC” debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 and its songs totally took over the Hot 100. It made history—he became the first rapper (and only third artist ever) to have at least 30 simultaneous hits on the Billboard Hot 100 in a single week. Honestly, I have not listened to this album. But maybe today is the day. Also, Chappell Roan’s “The Giver” debuted at No. 5 on the singles chart!
❤️ CURRENTLY CRUSHING ❤️
As a New Crush subscriber, you get EXCLUSIVE access to our Currently Crushing playlist, which I update monthly with my favorite new songs. Here are three highlights I didn’t get a chance to mention in the newsletter this month:
“Put It to Bed,” by Kelsea Ballerini
I devoted a whole newsletter to Kelsea Ballerini and forgot to tell you guys that she put out a deluxe version of “PATTERNS.” Once again, she shines the most on her upbeat, girl-bossified country-pop songs, specifically on “Put It to Bed,” “Cut Me Up” and “Future Tripping.”
“This Is Real,” by feeble little horse
Warning: if this song feels quiet at its beginning, do not turn your volume up.
“Wait For You,” by Flora from Kansas
Synthy, ‘80s garage rock…and she’s 17. And from Kansas if you hadn’t already guessed.
😘 FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE 😘
Today’s notable releases:
“Forever Is a Feeling” by Lucy Dacus
“Glory” by Perfume Genius
“Lonely People With Power” by Deafheaven
“Patience, Moonbeam” by Great Grandpa
There are only two things you actually need to know about me. My name is Natalia and my favorite podcast is Las Culturistas. They end every episode with a song. I end every newsletter with a song.
Speaking of Kelsea Ballerini…Ashe opened for her when I saw her last month. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Ashe until I realized that 1. She’s over 30 and 2. She’s divorced. I’m neither of those things, but for some reason that made it all click for me! Anyway, tomorrow it will be over 70 degrees and I plan to blast this for the 500th time this month.
we love you mannequin pussy!!!!!!